My 31st birthday 31岁生日
i was busy with my class yesterday . I had many lessons yesterday. What an exhausting day !
I have been through a lot in the past two years. I suffered from the passing away of my father. Life always gave me a harsh blow.My hair becomes thinner and thinner. i remember that there were some hair on my pillow everyday last september. this makes me think i am getting older.Lose and win in love makes me dislike myself and think i am inferior in the relationship.I become disappointed.what a change in life!
Life and death
I had ups and downs since last July(by lunar calendar). I am drenched in my sadness .very disappointed and desperate…just like the song 「wake me up when September ends」.Billie's father died when he was 10. Because of the unbearable pain of the loss of his father,he locked the door and said to his mother "Wake me up when September ends" he thought he might feel better later. However,Billie's "September" is very long in his mind. Just like me , i think of my father in the dark night. I saw my father many times in my dreams.All the dreams ended with the unwillingness of letting go with cries and screams. Father supported the family and strived to improve the quality of my life. He gave me everything he had. When father passed away, i have to fight for my own living and face the music.
Love and life
We live in the reality.Our family background,society, personal status quo , the characteristics of our times and history determine and define who we are. Love is a luxury,what is important for me now is that what kind of life i want. Our life changes every now and then,people come and go, so We change the way how we think of our friends and people we love. In the movie 「lala land 」.Gosling and Emma share a lot in common. They encourage each other and grow up together,but in the end they still broke up. Emma are not sure about whether she is gonna make the dream come True,Gosling keeps his dream alive. They separate their ways and live their own lives.
New Journey
I have chosen an unknown life.Even if i am badly hurt, am not complete, i need to move on. Like eveyone else, we fight for our lives. Pains and hardships , misunderstanding and unsatisfaction… they compose our lives. We experience pain and have new opportunities at the same time. Just move on
31 岁
昨天忙了一天，上了 很多课，在疲惫和困倦中结束了自己的30岁
这两年对我来说，并不容易，历经离别的痛苦，生活上的打击，身体的变化（去年9月早晨醒来的每天枕头上都沾满了碎小的头发，我也慢慢变老），情感的得失，有时心理对自己的厌憎，心灰意冷，卑微……生活太磨人，有太多变化……
生与死
去年的七月（阴历）到现在，我内心世界的起伏变化，在梦里，在现实里，我经历的失望和绝望让我沉浸在痛苦之中无法自拔……就像这首歌《wake me up when September ends》,比利因为父亲去世，因为承受不了而跑回家中，将自己锁在房间里，对母亲说"九月末叫醒我吧"那样也许我就能走出阴霾……也许比利内心里的九月要很长，就像我一样，在夜深人静的时空中，记忆深处总会想起父亲，在梦里，总会看见他，那种不舍总是在梦里以哭喊挽留的方式结束。父亲就像大树，撑起一片天，我和姐姐在他的勤劳诚恳的付出中成长，享受他给予的一切。当有一天大树不在我们必须面对现实，面对生活……
爱情与生活
我们每个人都活在具体的家庭、具体的历史、具体的社会环境、具体的个人条件中，爱情对大部分人都是奢侈品，重要的是要选择什么样的生活。人生的时空变换，人来人往，我们的朋友，生活环境，对人的认知都在变。三观一致也不一定能走到一起，《爱乐之城》中石头姐与高司令一起成长，互相鼓励，最后还是成为了过客，女主石头姐对坚持梦想的迷茫，选择了自己一直期待的样子，高司令还是那个少年，都拥有自己的生活。
出发前进
日子是自己的，生活还得继续，哪怕你遍体鳞伤，哪怕你不再完整，你还是带着伤痛往前走，你和每个人一样，都努力地为生活奋斗着，苦与难，误解与不满，在无常的人生中体验痛苦，也体验机遇，一步一步往前走，去感受……